Tim Allen

Tim Allen is one of the most successful comedians of all time, despite not being even remotely funny. On January 8th 2018, he received the deep fat frying he so richly deserves.

Timothy Allen "Smeglicker" Dick was born September 11th, 1666. He was born to a Demonic Wizard named Orsc-Tmu and a human female who is irrelevant. He was an accomplished black mage, and managed to create several body doubles of himself. At the age of 16, one of these body doubles formed the Black Metal band Mayhem under the pseudonym of Per "Dead" Ohlin. It later shot itself due to defects. The other one underwent major magicks transformations and now lives life under then name of Shaquille O'Neal.